Forgiving Yourself

Less than six hours after embarking on the journey to control your weight and it already starts to get difficult.

I am hungry when I don't need to be. My first reaction is to make popcorn, look for candy, or scan the food options in the office. Its time to recognize that for exactly what it is; an instinctive reaction, an initial response, or a nearly mindless behavior that I have programmed in my body.

So I catch myself. I remember the goal, remember the journey and most importantly; I forgive.

Forgiving yourself throughout a process like this is so critical and I may be the least forgiving person to myself that there is.

I teach marching band and color guards as a hobby and the interaction with students is a great experience. I try to offer as many "life lessons" as possible during their time with the group. Many people have been very positively effected by this which is very satisfying. So, I will refer from time to time to one of those lessons that I am so quick to give, but so slow to take.

Life Lesson #1: You will make mistakes, it is how you recover from it that your level of success will be measured.

And that has a lot to do with forgiveness, acceptance, and recognition of our short comings. For me, I know that I will slip and eat something I shouldn't. I will have a meal where I will polish off the whole plate when I really shouldn't have. But I need to forgive myself if it happens. I have such a hard time with this because I focus too much on making that first single mistake. I also refer to making that one mistake as being mission critical to my overall success, when it really doesn't have to be.

I tell my students before a performance, knowing that they are nervous and afraid of not having a perfect routine, that the mistakes will come. It is inevitable. The most important thing is to not get hung up with it so you can move on with your performance. The judging community actually rewards recovery, giving credit on how a student reacts to their mistakes and how quickly they can move on to the next part of their routine.

So when the afternoon comes around and I start to feel hungry and I catch myself grabbing a bag of unpopped popcorn I become afraid and nearly paralyzed because I believe that if I do this, if I make this one single mistake, it will all unravel again. Dampening that fear is so important for long term success.

I didn't make the mistake this time, but I did feel the panic of it all the same. Regardless of whether or not I actually ate something, it is time to forgive, time to recover, and time to focus on the next part of the routine.